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Monica Helms

Monica F. Helms (born March 8, 1951) is an American author, transgender activist, and veteran of the United States Navy. Helms enlisted in the Navy in 1970, serving as a submariner aboard the USS Francis Scott Key from 1972 to 1976 and the USS Flasher from 1976 to 1978 before her discharge in 1978. In 1999, she designed the Transgender Pride Flag, featuring light blue, pink, and white stripes to symbolize transgender identity and diversity, which debuted at a Phoenix Pride parade the following year and has since become a widely recognized symbol. Helms co-founded the Transgender American Veterans Association in 2003 to advocate for transgender military personnel and veterans, and in 2004 became the first openly transgender delegate from Georgia to the Democratic National Convention. Her autobiography, More Than Just a Flag, details her military service, transition, and activism.

Early Life

Childhood and Family Background

Monica Helms was born on March 8, 1951, in Sumter, South Carolina. She spent much of her childhood in Arizona after her family relocated there. Helms grew up in a religious household during the 1950s. In interviews, she has described experiencing a sense of being female from an early age, recalling at five years old praying to God to transform her into a girl. As she grew older, Helms reported trying on her mother's clothing, though she presented outwardly as a typical boy during this period. Limited public details exist regarding her immediate family structure or parental occupations beyond these self-reported anecdotes from later-life reflections.

Education

Monica Helms graduated from high school in 1969 after growing up primarily in Arizona. Following her enlistment in the U.S. Navy in 1970 at age 19, she attended Naval Nuclear Power School to qualify for submarine service. After her honorable discharge from the Navy in 1978, Helms enrolled in college with the intention of obtaining a degree in television production, though no records confirm completion of this program.

Military Service

Enlistment and Training

Helms enlisted in the United States Navy on January 16, 1970, at the age of 18, shortly after high school graduation, amid the Vietnam War era when she drew a low draft lottery number that prompted many young men to join voluntarily to select their branch of service. This decision also aligned with her family's multigenerational tradition of military involvement. After completing eight weeks of recruit basic training at the Naval Training Center Great Lakes, Illinois—standard for all enlisted personnel at the time—she advanced to specialized technical schooling for her rating as a machinist's mate (MM), focusing on mechanical and auxiliary systems maintenance. As a nuclear-qualified submariner, Helms then attended Naval Nuclear Power School in Orlando, Florida, a rigorous six-month program covering nuclear propulsion principles, reactor operations, and safety protocols, followed by practical prototype reactor training to simulate submarine conditions. This nuclear training equipped her for hands-on responsibilities aboard fast-attack and ballistic missile submarines, including operation and repair of reactor-associated equipment such as pumps, valves, turbines, and hydraulic systems essential to propulsion and power generation. Completion of these phases, including qualification exams and submarine familiarization at the Naval Submarine School in Groton, Connecticut, certified her for duty on nuclear-powered vessels, a role requiring high aptitude in mathematics, physics, and mechanical engineering under confined, high-pressure environments.

Submarine Assignments

Monica Helms was assigned to the ballistic missile submarine USS Francis Scott Key (SSBN-657) from 1972 to 1976, where she served as a nuclear-trained machinist's mate responsible for maintenance on the vessel's propulsion systems. During this assignment, the submarine conducted deterrent patrols as part of the U.S. Navy's strategic nuclear forces. In 1976, Helms transferred to the attack submarine USS Flasher (SSN-613), serving until her discharge in 1978. On this vessel, she continued duties involving nuclear machinery operations and submarine-specific engineering tasks, contributing to undersea missions that included intelligence gathering and anti-submarine warfare exercises. Her service on these submarines occurred during a period when women were barred from combat roles, including submarine duty, requiring her to serve while concealing her gender identity.

Discharge and Veteran Status

Helms completed her eight-year enlistment in the United States Navy in 1978, receiving an honorable discharge. Her service, conducted under her birth-assigned male identity, involved assignments on ballistic missile submarines without incident related to her later-disclosed gender dysphoria, which she managed privately to avoid potential administrative separation under era-specific policies prohibiting homosexuality or cross-dressing. As a Navy veteran, Helms qualifies for Department of Veterans Affairs benefits, including healthcare eligibility confirmed through her honorable discharge status, which preserved access despite post-service gender transition challenges in documentation updates. She has publicly identified as a submarine veteran, leveraging this status in advocacy for military recognition of transgender service members, though her discharge predated formal transgender policies in the armed forces. No records indicate any upgrade or revision to her discharge characterization following her 1997 transition.

Gender Transition

Realization and Medical Process

Helms reported first sensing a difference in her gender identity around age 4 or 5, when she prayed to wake up as a girl despite lacking the ability to read or write at the time. She began cross-dressing privately during her U.S. Navy service in 1974 while stationed in Charleston, South Carolina, and continued exploring this after a 1976 transfer to the Bay Area, where she connected with a nascent cross-dressing community. Helms later identified these experiences as indicative of transgender identity, realizing in 1987 that she was transsexual. This realization came approximately 10 years before her social transition, delayed due to family obligations including a marriage in 1978, two young sons (ages 3 and 5 in 1992), and an unsupportive spouse who reacted negatively to her cross-dressing. Helms initiated medical transition with hormone replacement therapy in 1992 while still presenting as male and employed. In 1997, she began living full-time as a woman, coinciding with her separation from her wife the following year; her employer, Sprint, accommodated the change with policies minimizing overt harassment, though subtle discrimination persisted. No public records detail gender confirmation surgery for Helms.

Immediate Aftermath and Challenges

Helms began living full-time as a woman in 1997, following years of hormone therapy started in 1992. Her marriage, which had produced two young sons, ended in separation and divorce by 1998, as her wife opposed the transition and had previously denied recognizing Helms' cross-dressing. Family reactions were largely negative; her mother responded to the news by stating, "I only wish you were just gay," and subsequently banned contact with her father, who died in 2004 without reconciliation. At her employer, Sprint, Helms experienced company policy protections against harassment during the transition, allowing her to present fully dressed as a woman on Halloween a year prior without formal repercussions. However, subtle bigotry persisted from colleagues who disliked the change, though it remained unspoken due to workplace rules. Integration into veteran communities proved difficult; after transitioning, Helms reapplied to the Phoenix chapter of the United States Submarine Veterans organization but encountered resistance tied to her gender identity. Broader societal discrimination included job rejections explicitly citing her transgender status, such as an employer stating, "We’re not going to hire you, because you’re a freak." These experiences, amid limited initial support networks, prompted Helms to relocate to Atlanta in 2000 for a more accepting environment.

Activism

Founding of Transgender American Veterans Association

Monica Helms founded the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA) in 2003 after relocating to Atlanta, Georgia, with the primary aim of advocating for transgender individuals who had served in the U.S. military. Drawing from her own service as a Navy submariner and subsequent experiences of marginalization post-transition, including resistance from veteran organizations, Helms sought to create a dedicated platform for addressing systemic barriers faced by transgender veterans, such as inadequate healthcare access through the Department of Veterans Affairs and exclusion from military recognition events. The organization's initial focus centered on raising awareness, providing peer support, and lobbying for policy changes to ensure equitable treatment for transgender veterans, including improved mental health services and non-discriminatory practices in VA facilities. Helms, who assumed the role of first president and held it until 2013, emphasized building a national network to amplify voices often overlooked in broader veterans' advocacy. Early efforts included organizing participation in public demonstrations, such as the first transgender veteran contingent at a major event in 2004, to highlight service contributions and combat stigma. TAVA's establishment filled a critical gap, as prior to 2003, no national group specifically represented transgender military personnel, despite estimates of thousands serving covertly under policies like "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Helms' leadership positioned the association as a key player in eventual advancements, including influencing VA directives on transgender care, though the group operated amid ongoing debates over military eligibility and veteran benefits tied to gender identity verification.

Political Involvement

Helms served as a delegate to the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, Massachusetts, representing Georgia as its first openly transgender delegate. This role highlighted her early engagement in partisan politics, aligning with Democratic efforts to nominate John Kerry amid debates over issues including military policy and civil rights. Her participation underscored transgender visibility within the party's national platform, though specific contributions to convention proceedings remain undocumented in primary accounts. Beyond the convention, Helms's political activities centered on advocacy intersecting with electoral influence, such as testifying before legislative bodies on transgender military service rights, but no records indicate candidacy for elected office or formal party leadership positions. Her Democratic affiliation reflects broader alignment with progressive stances on LGBTQ+ inclusion, consistent with her veteran status and flag design symbolism.

Broader Advocacy Efforts

Helms served as executive director of Trans=Action, Georgia's transgender advocacy organization, where she focused on improving acceptance of transgender individuals in homeless shelters. In 2000, she helped establish the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) event in Atlanta, marking the third year of the annual commemoration overall, with initial attendance of 16 participants that grew substantially in subsequent years. Helms has conducted speaking engagements to promote transgender visibility and education, including a 2024 tour across Canada to mark the 25th anniversary of the transgender pride flag, aimed at increasing awareness of transgender issues. She co-founded It's Time Arizona, an organization advocating for equal treatment of transgender people in the military, distinct from her veterans-focused work.

Transgender Pride Flag

Design Process and Symbolism

Monica Helms designed the Transgender Pride Flag in August 1999, drawing inspiration from a conversation with Michael Page, the creator of the bisexual pride flag, who suggested that the transgender community needed its own symbol during a dinner two weeks prior. Helms awoke with the concept, sketched it on paper, and sewed the first physical flag within a week using simple materials to ensure broad accessibility and visibility for transgender individuals. The design features five horizontal stripes of equal width: light blue at the top and bottom, pink on the inner sides of those, and white in the center, selected for their straightforward representation without complex patterns that might hinder reproduction. The flag's colors carry specific meanings rooted in traditional gender-associated hues: light blue symbolizes the conventional color for infant boys, pink for infant girls, and the central white stripe represents individuals who are transitioning, intersex, gender neutral, or otherwise outside the binary gender system. Helms intentionally arranged the stripes so the flag appears identical when viewed upside down or right-side up, stating that this feature "symbolizes us trying to find correctness in our lives," reflecting the ongoing societal navigation faced by transgender people regardless of orientation or perspective. This dual-orientation correctness underscores the design's emphasis on universality and resilience within the transgender experience.

Debut and Widespread Adoption

The Transgender Pride Flag, consisting of light blue, pink, and white horizontal stripes, was designed by Monica Helms in August 1999 and first publicly displayed at the Phoenix Pride parade on June 24, 2000. Helms carried the flag herself during the event, using it to represent transgender visibility and pride in a community where dedicated symbols were scarce. This debut marked the flag's initial exposure, primarily within local LGBTQ+ gatherings in Arizona. Following its introduction, the flag's adoption spread incrementally through transgender advocacy networks and events. Early notable uses included its display by the Ottawa-area transgender community during the 2010 Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremony. By 2012, it was raised in San Francisco's Castro District to commemorate the same occasion, reflecting growing recognition in major urban centers. Helms' involvement in organizations like the Transgender American Veterans Association further promoted the flag at conferences and protests, contributing to its dissemination among military and veteran trans groups. The flag achieved broader institutional and cultural prominence in the mid-2010s. In August 2014, Helms donated the original prototype to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of American History, where it joined the museum's LGBTQ+ collection as a historical artifact. This act underscored the flag's evolution from a personal creation to a widely accepted emblem of transgender identity, now commonly featured at global pride events, merchandise, and digital platforms representing trans rights and visibility. Helms has attributed its resonance to its simple yet inclusive design, which resonated beyond initial intentions.

Reception and Criticisms

The Transgender Pride Flag, designed by Monica Helms in 1999, debuted publicly at the Phoenix Pride parade on August 19, 2000, where Helms carried it solo as a promotional effort. It quickly gained traction as a symbol of transgender visibility, with Helms noting in a 2025 interview that it has provided trans and non-binary individuals a focal point for pride and unity, appearing at marches, events, and in digital media worldwide. By the 2010s, it had been adopted by advocacy groups and integrated into broader LGBTQ+ iconography, reflecting empirical growth in its use amid rising transgender activism, though its prominence correlates with institutional support in urban and progressive settings rather than universal grassroots consensus. Criticisms have emerged primarily from within gender-variant circles, focusing on perceived exclusivity in its symbolism. The light blue and pink stripes, drawn from traditional infant gender colors to represent male and female identities, alongside the central white stripe for those transitioning or gender-neutral, have been faulted for prioritizing binary medical transition over broader experiences like cross-dressing or drag performance. One community member articulated in 2020 that the flag, once viewed as unifying under an expansive "transgender" umbrella, now signals exclusion to non-transitioning individuals, fragmenting identities once inclusively grouped before definitional shifts narrowed the term. This view aligns with the 2017 Darlington Statement by intersex advocates, who rejected inclusion under transgender symbols, highlighting causal tensions between evolving identity categories and fixed iconography. Further critique targets the design's reinforcement of stereotypes, with some labeling the pink-blue palette as implicitly misogynistic or reductive, embedding cultural gender norms into a purportedly liberatory emblem rather than transcending them. Externally, the flag encounters opposition in contexts of public display restrictions, such as school bans on pride symbols amid debates over ideological imposition, though these target transgender visibility broadly rather than the design uniquely. Such pushback underscores causal realism in cultural contests: widespread adoption in activist spheres contrasts with resistance where empirical concerns over child influence or public policy arise, unmitigated by source biases favoring progressive narratives.

Publications

Major Works

Monica Helms authored the autobiography More Than Just a Flag in 2019, published by MB Books, which details her childhood, United States Navy service on submarines including the USS Flasher and USS Francis Scott Key, gender transition, creation of the Transgender Pride Flag, and establishment of the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA). The book emphasizes her advocacy for transgender military rights and personal challenges post-transition, drawing from her direct experiences without external corroboration beyond self-reporting. In addition to nonfiction, Helms has published science fiction novels, including Valhalla, a story involving interstellar conflict and submarine warfare analogies; its 2012 sequel The Straits of Hell, set 15 years later with Earth submarines aiding alien forces; and Time Hostages, incorporating mystery and murder amid scientific anomalies in Sedona, Arizona. She also released Tales from a Two-Gendered Mind, a collection reflecting dual perspectives informed by her life experiences. These works, primarily self-published or through small presses, explore themes of identity, technology, and adventure but have garnered limited critical reception outside niche audiences.

Themes and Impact

Helms' primary non-fiction work, the 2019 autobiography More Than Just a Flag, explores recurring themes of gender dysphoria experienced from childhood, the suppression of transgender identity during her U.S. Navy service from 1970 to 1978 aboard submarines like the USS Flasher and USS Francis Scott Key, and the challenges of transitioning later in life amid societal and institutional barriers. The narrative emphasizes resilience in activism, including the founding of the Transgender American Veterans Association in 2003 and the 1999 creation of the Transgender Pride Flag, framing these as acts of personal and communal empowerment against historical exclusion of transgender individuals from military narratives. It also addresses intersections of veteran status and transgender experience, highlighting policy shifts like the 2016 lifting of the transgender military ban under President Obama, which Helms credits with validating long-denied service contributions. In her science fiction novels, such as Valhalla (2007), its sequel The Straits of Hell (2012), Time Hostages (undated but post-2000s), and The Wayward Star (2012), Helms incorporates themes drawn from her submariner background, including naval exploration, interstellar conflict, and survival in isolated, high-stakes environments. Valhalla and The Straits of Hell depict Earth submarines venturing to an alien world called Valhalla, blending military tactics with speculative elements of otherworldly alliances and warfare, reflecting Helms' firsthand accounts of submarine operations and independent problem-solving fostered by her Navy tenure. Time Hostages, set in Sedona, Arizona, introduces mystery and murder amid scientific anomalies like time manipulation, using the red rock landscape to evoke isolation and discovery. These works often feature protagonists navigating uncharted territories, potentially allegorizing personal transitions through metaphors of adaptation and reinvention, though Helms has not explicitly confirmed such interpretations. The impact of Helms' publications remains primarily niche, with More Than Just a Flag serving as a key primary source for understanding early transgender veteran experiences, contributing to archival efforts in LGBTQ+ history by documenting pre-Don't Ask, Don't Tell era suppressions and post-transition advocacy. It has garnered modest readership within activist circles, aiding visibility for transgender military histories amid ongoing debates over service eligibility, as evidenced by its inclusion in discussions of policy reversals under subsequent administrations. Her fiction, self-published via platforms like CreateSpace, appeals to science fiction enthusiasts interested in submarine-inspired narratives, with Valhalla noted as her most read work on platforms like Goodreads, though it lacks broad critical acclaim or sales data indicating widespread influence. Overall, Helms' writings reinforce themes of perseverance against institutional norms, but their reach is constrained by self-publishing and focus on specialized audiences, without evidence of transforming broader literary or activist discourses.

Personal Life

Marriage and Relationships

Monica Helms was married to a woman prior to her gender transition, with whom she had two sons born in the early 1980s. The couple wed in 1980, and Helms has described the marriage as initially fulfilling before her gender dysphoria became untenable. In 1987, Helms disclosed her transgender identity to her wife, who opposed the transition; Helms delayed full transition until 1992 due to family responsibilities, including raising young children then aged approximately three and five. The marriage dissolved in 1998 amid the transition process, after which Helms maintained a relationship with her sons, both of whom later married Hispanic women. Following her divorce, Helms entered a relationship with Darlene Wagner, a microbiologist with a Ph.D. who works at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The two married in 2016. Helms and Wagner have collaborated on advocacy efforts, including public appearances related to transgender rights, and as of 2025, they planned to relocate to Costa Rica citing concerns over U.S. safety amid political changes. No public details exist on prior relationships between the divorce and this marriage.

Hobbies and Later Years

In her personal time, Helms has engaged in hobbies tied to her naval background, notably constructing detailed model submarines, which she describes as providing solace and a creative outlet reflective of her service aboard vessels like the USS Flasher. She has also pursued model rocketry, launching rockets as a recreational activity that predates her transition and continues as a point of personal continuity. Following her resignation from the presidency of the Transgender American Veterans Association after a decade in the role (from its 2003 founding), Helms shifted focus toward a more private life, including marriage in 2016 and selective public engagements such as speaking at events like the 2024 TransOhio conference. This period has emphasized personal reflection over intensive activism, though she remains an occasional advocate for transgender veteran issues.

Recent Relocation Plans

In June 2025, Monica Helms and her wife, Darlene Wagner, announced plans to relocate from the Atlanta metropolitan area to Costa Rica, citing concerns over escalating state-level legislation restricting transgender healthcare, youth protections, and public accommodations in the United States. The couple, both transgender women, expressed fears that such laws posed risks to their safety and the broader community, particularly transgender youth, amid a political climate they described as increasingly hostile. To fund the relocation, Helms and Wagner initiated a GoFundMe campaign in early 2025, raising community support for expenses including visas, housing, and travel, with a goal of establishing a more secure environment abroad. Helms emphasized in interviews that the decision stemmed from a perceived lack of federal safeguards against state-level policies, though she noted Costa Rica's progressive stance on LGBTQ rights, including legal recognition of same-sex marriage since 2020, as a key factor. The relocation was completed in August 2025, with Helms confirming the move as a proactive step to avoid potential persecution, while affirming their commitment to ongoing transgender advocacy from their new base. Helms stated that the couple would not abandon activism, intending to engage locally in Costa Rica despite the challenges of expatriation.

Controversies

Allegations Regarding Personal Writings

In the late 1990s and early 2000s, prior to fully transitioning, Monica Helms (then known as Robert Hogge) authored and published erotic short stories in niche online communities focused on transgender transformation fiction, such as those hosted on platforms like Fictionmania. These writings often explored themes of forced feminization, a fetish genre involving non-consensual gender transformation of male characters into females, typically for sexual gratification. Helms has acknowledged in her memoir More Than Just a Flag (published 2023) that her early cross-dressing experiences, beginning around age 12 with incidents of stealing women's underwear, were initially driven by sexual arousal rather than a innate sense of gender identity. Critics, including gender-critical investigators, have highlighted specific stories from Helms' collection Tales from a Two-Gendered Mind as evidence of deeper fetishistic motivations underlying her transgender activism and flag design. One such story, "A Woman Scorned," features a male protagonist stalked and pursued romantically by a young female witch who appears perpetually adolescent (described as looking 16 but aging slowly due to magical powers), culminating in marriage and the birth of a daughter who inherits similar traits. Excerpts quoted by detractors include the character stating, "All I want is you! I want to marry you," emphasizing the allure of eternal youth. These elements have been interpreted by sources like Reduxx and commentator Graham Linehan as indicative of pedophilic fantasies, given the fixation on a child-like figure who never matures. Other alleged writings include narratives of body-swapping, such as a widower inhabiting his deceased wife's form, and broader admissions of participating in sex clubs involving orgies and cross-dressing role-play with her then-wife. Helms' involvement in these genres aligns with patterns observed in pre-transition autogynephilic erotica, where sexual excitement from feminization precedes identity claims, as documented in peer-reviewed analyses by researchers like Ray Blanchard. No public denial of the writings' existence has been issued by Helms, though she has framed her past behaviors as an evolution toward authentic gender realization. These allegations, primarily amplified by outlets skeptical of mainstream transgender narratives, contrast with Helms' public persona as a veteran advocate and flag creator, raising questions about the ideological consistency of symbols adopted by the community.

Debates Over Inclusivity and Ideology

Some within the transgender community have critiqued the inclusivity of the transgender pride flag designed by Monica Helms in 1999, arguing that its symbolism emphasizes binary male-to-female and female-to-male transitions over broader gender diversity, such as non-binary or genderqueer identities. Helms originally described the flag's light blue stripes as representing the traditional color for baby boys and the anticipated gender of trans women, light pink stripes for baby girls and trans men, and the central white stripe for "those who are intersex, transitioning, or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender." This intent aimed to encompass fluidity and variation, yet critics contend that evolving definitions of "transgender"—shifting from inclusive terms covering cross-dressers, drag performers, and non-transitioning gender-variant individuals to a narrower focus on medical or social transition—have rendered the flag divisive rather than unifying. In a June 2020 discussion on the TransGender Pulse forum, contributor Lynnie articulated ceasing to display the flag, attributing this to Helms' quoted symbolism and the exclusionary impact of redefinitions like those in the 2017 Darlington Statement by Australian transgender advocates, which limits "transgender" to those whose gender identity differs from sex assigned at birth, explicitly excluding cross-dressers and asexuals. Lynnie viewed the flag as emblematic of this ideological narrowing, fostering guilt and fragmentation within gender-diverse groups previously aligned under broader umbrellas, such as the 1998 San Francisco Human Rights Commission guidelines on gender identity. Forum respondents diverged: some defended the flag's enduring role as a symbol of marginalized trans experiences, while others preferred the rainbow flag for its wider embrace of queer identities, highlighting subjective preferences in symbolism over consensus. These debates reflect ideological tensions in transgender advocacy between preserving historical symbols tied to binary visibility—Helms' flag has been flown at events since its 2000 debut at a Phoenix pride parade—and demands for updated representations, such as the 2014 non-binary pride flag (yellow, white, purple, black stripes) or layered progress pride flags incorporating intersex and racial elements. Helms has upheld the flag's versatility, noting in interviews its unintended global adoption as a beacon of trans resilience amid visibility struggles, without endorsing exclusions. Empirical adoption data, however, shows coexistence: Helms' design remains prevalent in institutional settings like pride marches, while variant flags proliferate in online and activist spaces seeking granular inclusivity.

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