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Frieda Lawrence


Frieda Lawrence (born Emma Frieda Johanna Maria von Richthofen; 11 August 1879 – 11 August 1956) was a German-born author and the wife of English novelist , with whom she shared a tumultuous marriage that profoundly influenced his literary output. Born into a minor aristocratic family in , then part of the , she married British professor Ernest Weekley in 1899 and bore three children before meeting Lawrence, who tutored her sons, in 1912. That year, she eloped with Lawrence to , abandoning her family and prompting a bitter finalized in 1913. The couple wed on 13 , just before the outbreak of the First World War, which exacerbated tensions due to her nationality, leading to official surveillance and social ostracism in .
Their peripatetic life spanned , , the American Southwest, and , marked by financial precarity, recurrent infidelities—primarily on her part—and explosive quarrels that Lawrence channeled into works portraying complex, defiant women inspired by her persona. Frieda outlived Lawrence, who succumbed to in 1930, by 26 years, settling permanently in , where she hosted literary figures and remarried Italian officer in 1950. She later penned an reflecting on their bond, emphasizing its raw vitality over conventional harmony.

Early Life

Family Background and Childhood

Frieda von Richthofen was born Emma Maria Frieda Johanna Freiin von Richthofen on August 11, 1879, in , then part of the German Empire's Alsace-Lorraine territory (now in ). Her father, Baron Friedrich Ernst Emil Ludwig von Richthofen (1844–1916), served as a and in the Prussian , holding a desk position in , a fortified city. Her mother, Anna Elise Lydia Marquier (1852–1930), came from a bourgeois background, marrying into the minor German aristocracy. The von Richthofen family belonged to the Prussian nobility, though of lesser rank, with ties to military and engineering circles; Frieda was a first cousin once removed to , the known as the Red Baron. As the second of three daughters—her elder sister (1874–1973) later became a pioneer in industrial psychology and associate of , while her younger sister (born circa 1882) served as a —Frieda experienced an upbringing marked by the privileges of minor aristocracy amid the multicultural tensions of Alsace-Lorraine. The family's life revolved around her father's career postings, including summers spent visiting relatives in in the Black Forest. Frieda's early years in Metz exposed her to a blend of and cultural influences, fostering a bilingual and somewhat restless disposition later recalled in her memoirs; the region's strategic importance as a Prussian stronghold shaped family routines around administrative and social duties rather than rural estates typical of higher . No major scandals or upheavals marked her childhood, though the era's rigid class structures and her parents' conventional marriage—contrasting with Frieda's future nonconformity—provided a stable yet constraining environment.

Education and First Marriage

Frieda von Richthofen was born Emma Maria Frieda Johanna Freiin von Richthofen on August 11, 1879, in , then part of the , to Baron Friedrich Ernst Emil Ludwig von Richthofen, a Prussian military officer, and Anna Marquier von Richthofen. As the second of three daughters in an aristocratic family, she received a conventional upper-class emphasizing languages, , and social etiquette, common for girls of her station in late 19th-century ; this included proficiency in and from her bilingual upbringing in the multicultural of Alsace-Lorraine. Specific details of her schooling remain sparse in records, though her exposure to intellectual circles via her elder sister , who studied and at , broadened her early worldview. In July 1898, during an annual family summer visit to in the Black Forest, 18-year-old Frieda met Ernest Weekley, a 33-year-old British philologist and lecturer in modern languages at University College, . The two married on August 29, 1899, in a , after which Frieda relocated to , settling in where Weekley advanced his academic career. Their union produced three children: Montague Charles (born December 1900), Elsa Agnes (born 1902), and Barbara Frieda (born 1904). Frieda initially embraced her role as a faculty wife, hosting social gatherings and managing the household, though the rigid English academic environment contrasted with her freer continental upbringing. The marriage lasted until 1913, when Weekley obtained a following Frieda's with .

Relationship with D.H. Lawrence

Meeting and Elopement

Frieda Weekley, née von Richthofen, first encountered David Herbert Lawrence on 17 March 1912 at her home in Nottingham, where Lawrence, a former student of her husband Ernest Weekley, a professor of French at University College Nottingham, had come to visit. At the time, Frieda was 32 years old, married since 1899, and mother to three children aged 10, 7, and 2. Lawrence, 26 and recently employed as a teacher in Croydon, found himself drawn to the sophisticated German-born Frieda, whose aristocratic background and independent spirit contrasted with his working-class English roots. Their acquaintance rapidly intensified into a romantic attachment, fueled by mutual intellectual interests and physical attraction, as evidenced by Lawrence's subsequent letters expressing profound emotional turmoil and infatuation. Despite Frieda's marital commitments, the pair exchanged fervent correspondence over the following weeks, with Lawrence urging her to confront her domestic situation. By early May, they resolved to depart together, marking a decisive break from her established life. On 3 May 1912, Frieda left her children in the care of her in-laws in and rendezvoused with there before boarding a train to and crossing to the . Their took them first to , where Frieda visited her family connections, and then to Irschenhausen in the , initiating a nomadic existence fraught with personal and social repercussions. This abrupt departure scandalized contemporaries, given Frieda's abandonment of her family and Lawrence's relatively modest status as an aspiring writer.

Marriage and Domestic Dynamics

Frieda and D. H. Lawrence formalized their union on 13 July 1914 in a civil ceremony at the Kensington Register Office in , following Frieda's divorce from Ernest Weekley earlier that year. Their domestic arrangement, initially nomadic due to financial constraints and personal wanderlust, involved shared responsibilities in makeshift households across , , and later other locales, where Frieda often handled cooking and practical affairs while Lawrence focused on writing. The marriage was characterized by intense volatility, stemming from profound temperamental clashes: Lawrence's possessive intensity and working-class English roots contrasted sharply with Frieda's aristocratic German background, independent nature, and advocacy for . Frequent arguments escalated into physical altercations, including instances of cutlery-throwing and fist-fighting, reflecting an "inner war" that tested their bond yet fostered mutual dependency. Frieda's infidelities, such as rumored involvements with figures like Harold Hobson, exacerbated Lawrence's jealousy, though he tolerated them to varying degrees, viewing the strife as essential to their vital connection. Despite separations and reconciliations, their partnership endured through shared intellectual pursuits and creative synergy, with domestic tensions providing raw material for Lawrence's explorations of marital conflict in works like Mr. Noon. Frieda's loss of custody over her children—intensified by Lawrence's May 1912 letter to Weekley—added layers of resentment, yet the couple's inability to have children together underscored Lawrence's unfulfilled paternal desires, further straining but ultimately deepening their relational dynamics. This turbulent equilibrium, marked by neither complete harmony nor dissolution, sustained them until Lawrence's death in 1930.

Travels and Residences

Following their in May 1912, Frieda and traveled to in before embarking on a six-week walking journey across the to , arriving in on in September 1912, where they resided until April 1913. Returning to in May 1913, they faced wartime restrictions after their July 13, 1914 marriage, relocating frequently due to suspicions over Frieda's nationality; from December 1916 to May 1917, they lived in a coastal cottage near Zennor in , from which they were evicted amid allegations. Postwar, the couple resumed extensive travel in starting in late , residing in briefly before settling in , , from October 1920 to February 1922, with interim stays in and other locales. In March 1922, they journeyed to Ceylon (now ) for six weeks, followed by a two-month stay in in May–June 1922, before returning via Ceylon to . In February 1923, they briefly visited England, then in March 1924 sailed to the United States, reaching Taos, New Mexico, in May, where they occupied the Del Monte Ranch initially and later the Kiowa Ranch (now D.H. Lawrence Ranch) gifted by Mabel Dodge Luhan, remaining until September 1925 with interruptions. From Taos, they proceeded to Mexico City and Oaxaca in October 1924–March 1925, seeking health benefits for Lawrence amid his tuberculosis. Returning to in 1925, the Lawrences established a more settled residence at Villa Mirenda in Scandicci near , , from September 1926 to July 1928, during which Lawrence completed key works. Their final major moves included stays in and before Lawrence's death in , , on March 2, 1930; Frieda then alternated between and Taos.

Influence on His Literary Work

Frieda Lawrence contributed to the revision of (1913) by typing manuscripts, annotating drafts in the margins, and challenging characterizations and phrasing, which helped refine the novel's emotional depth. She directly wrote portions of the text and advocated for a more sympathetic portrayal of , drawing from her perspective to temper the character's depiction while amplifying Freudian undertones in Paul Morel's Oedipal attachment to his mother, such as revisions to scenes emphasizing his "fury of misery." Frieda later reflected, "I lived and suffered that book," underscoring her immersion in its themes of familial entanglement. Beyond editorial input, Frieda embodied the of the vital, sensual woman in Lawrence's , inspiring protagonists like Ursula Brangwen in (1915) and (1920), who mirrored her intellectual independence, class-transcending desires, and earthy sensuality. Most explicitly, she modeled Constance Chatterley in (1928), with the character's German heritage, marriage to a cerebral invalid, and affair with a lower-class gamekeeper paralleling Frieda's own union with an academic and elopement with the working-class . Their volatile permeated Lawrence's exploration of sexual , marital , and "blood-consciousness" over , as Frieda provided oppositional that prevented his narratives from becoming overly autobiographical, ensuring in portrayals of relational power dynamics. She acted as his primary critic and typist across works, quarreling over content to infuse female viewpoints, which Lawrence acknowledged in letters expressing torment and dependence on her insights. This , rooted in their elopement, catalyzed themes of erotic awakening and class defiance central to his mature output.

Personal Controversies

Abandonment of Children and Family Impact

In May 1912, Frieda Weekley, aged 32, eloped with to , leaving behind her husband, Ernest Weekley, a professor of French at University College , and their three children: (born 1900, aged 12), Elsa (born 1902, aged 10), and Barbara (born 1904, aged 8). Frieda had been aware of the risks, including potential loss of custody, as English divorce laws at the time heavily favored the innocent party and penalized by mothers, effectively forfeiting her legal claims to the children. Weekley, described as vindictive in contemporary accounts, obtained full custody following the divorce finalized in 1914 and initially barred Frieda from contact, exacerbating the separation. Frieda made repeated but unsuccessful attempts to see her children, such as trying to intercept them en route to school or enter the family home, often enlisting help from acquaintances like . These efforts were thwarted by Weekley's opposition and societal stigma against the adulterous mother, leading to a prolonged rift where the children remained aligned with their father. The abandonment inflicted emotional damage on the children, constituting early childhood adversity with potential long-term psychological effects, as later biographical analyses have noted in the context of disrupted maternal bonds. Elsa Weekley, who later wrote under the name Elsa Barr, and Barbara experienced strained or minimal relations with Frieda thereafter, while Montague's interactions were similarly limited; the family's opposition to Frieda's choice persisted, with Weekley never reconciling. Frieda later expressed regret over the pain of separation in her writings, acknowledging the children's adoration for her prior to the elopement, though she prioritized her relationship with . This decision contributed to a lasting familial , influencing perceptions of Frieda as prioritizing personal over parental duties.

Extramarital Affairs and Sexual Lifestyle

Frieda von Richthofen, while married to Ernest Weekley from 1899 to 1914, pursued multiple extramarital relationships, including affairs with at least three men in and one in , among them the psychoanalyst in 1907, whose advocacy for sexual liberation and rejection of profoundly shaped her views on erotic freedom and . These encounters, influenced by her family's unconventional milieu—her sister Else's own involvement with Gross—fostered Frieda's embrace of sensual autonomy as a counter to bourgeois constraints. Following her 1914 marriage to , Frieda maintained a pattern of , with early liaisons such as one with William Enfield Dowson and later with around 1915, which exacerbated marital tensions amid their nomadic life in and . Her affair with Italian army officer began during his visits to the Lawrences' Spotorno residence in the mid-1920s, while Lawrence was battling ; Ravagli later claimed Lawrence caught them , an episode biographers link to the jealous dynamics in (1928), where Frieda's working-class liaison echoed her own. The Lawrences' sexual lifestyle tolerated mutual infidelities—Lawrence pursued women like Katherine Mansfield's circle—but Frieda's serial pursuits provoked his recurrent anguish, verbal recriminations, and occasional physical altercations, though reconciliations followed, strengthening their bond through raw honesty rather than convention. Post-Lawrence's death, Frieda formalized her relationship with Ravagli, marrying him in 1950 primarily for his U.S. residency, continuing a life of unapologetic erotic independence until her own death. This approach, rooted in Gross's anarchist Freudianism, prioritized instinctual vitality over fidelity, as evidenced in her memoirs where she defended sensual experimentation as essential to vitality.

Political Stances and Wartime Suspicions

Frieda von Richthofen, born into a Prussian aristocratic family in in 1879, maintained emotional ties to her German heritage that fueled suspicions during . As the wife of British author , her background as a cousin of , the "Red Baron," intensified perceptions of divided loyalties, particularly amid Britain's wartime . Local reports in , where the couple resided from 1915 to 1917, accused them of signaling German U-boats using clotheslines as codes, leading to police surveillance and their expulsion under the Act on October 12, 1917. These suspicions were compounded by Frieda's open pro-German sympathies, which clashed with Lawrence's occasional disapproval; she expressed support for that strained their relationship during the , though no evidence substantiated claims. Lawrence himself faced rejection from multiple times, partly due to her nationality, and their passports were confiscated until 1919. Her stance reflected a broader anti-patriotic outlook, characterized as hostile to traditional virtues like and industry, aligning with a libertarian rejection of conventional moral and state-imposed codes rather than explicit ideological affiliation. Politically, Frieda embodied a non-conformist influenced by pre-war encounters, such as with psychoanalyst , emphasizing sensual liberation over structured authority, which some contemporaries like attributed to her influence on Lawrence's "unpleasant politics." She shared Lawrence's opposition to and but prioritized personal opposition to war's destructiveness, viewing as alien to her outsider status in . Similar scrutiny persisted into , when her German roots and second husband Angelo Ravagli's Italian citizenship prompted harassment , prompting temporary relocation to in the 1940s. Despite these episodes, her positions stemmed from familial loyalty and anti-authoritarian instincts rather than organized political advocacy.

Later Years

Managing Lawrence's Estate and Legacy

Following D. H. Lawrence's death on March 2, 1930, his estate passed entirely to Frieda as his , since he died intestate and they had no children together. She faced legal challenges from Lawrence's siblings over the literary rights and copyrights, requiring her return to for proceedings that ultimately ruled in her favor. Frieda managed the estate's financial and publishing aspects with assistance from , her companion and later second husband, who acted as her business partner while handling operations in Taos. Frieda oversaw posthumous publications and editions of Lawrence's works, including authorizing an expurgated version of Lady Chatterley's Lover with publisher Martin Secker to navigate censorship restrictions. In 1934, she published her memoir Not I, But the Wind, which detailed her life with Lawrence and contributed to shaping public perceptions of his personal and creative world. By 1948, she had arranged the sale of significant manuscript collections, such as the Frieda Lawrence Collection of D. H. Lawrence Manuscripts, to institutions like the University of Texas. To preserve Lawrence's legacy, Frieda designated the Kiowa Ranch in Taos—purchased in 1923—as a memorial site, returning there periodically after his death and entrusting Ravagli with its upkeep. In 1955, eight months before her own death, she deeded the 560-acre property to the , stipulating its use for educational and cultural purposes to honor Lawrence's memory; it operates today as the D. H. Lawrence Ranch. These efforts ensured the ranch's role in sustaining interest in Lawrence's life and work amid ongoing scholarly and public engagement with his oeuvre.

Second Marriage and Personal Reflections

Following D.H. Lawrence's death on March 2, 1930, Frieda returned to the Ranch near , where she had previously resided with him. In 1931, , an captain whom Frieda had met during a 1925 trip to , left his wife and three children to join her at the ranch. The couple cohabited there for nearly two decades, managing the property amid financial and legal challenges related to Lawrence's estate. Frieda and Ravagli formalized their relationship through on October 31, 1950, after Ravagli's from his first wife. This union, delayed by legal hurdles including Ravagli's immigration status in the United States, provided stability during their later years together at the ranch. During , suspicion of their Italian ties led them to relocate temporarily to , where they faced harassment before returning to . In her 1934 memoir Not I, But the Wind, Frieda reflected on her tumultuous life with , portraying their bond as one of intense passion and mutual liberation from conventional constraints, while acknowledging the strains of his illness and their nomadic existence. Later correspondence and accounts suggest Frieda viewed her post-Lawrence life with Ravagli as a period of relative calm, focused on preserving the and Lawrence's legacy, though she expressed occasional regrets over family estrangements and the physical toll of her earlier adventures. Ravagli's practical contributions, including maintenance and artifact sales from Lawrence's collection, supported her efforts, yet their relationship remained pragmatic rather than idealized.

Memoirs and Self-Representation

Frieda Lawrence published her memoir Not I, But the Wind... in 1934, drawing its title from D.H. Lawrence's poem and presenting an intimate, of their from 1914 until his death in 1930. In the book, she described their nomadic lifestyle across and the Southwest, portraying herself as a steadfast companion who nurtured Lawrence's artistic vitality amid his health decline and personal conflicts, while acknowledging tensions arising from her independent temperament and past . The memoir counters some of Lawrence's own depictions of her in his fiction—such as the domineering Hermione in Women in Love—by emphasizing her role as an equal partner who challenged his possessiveness and contributed to his emotional depth. Lawrence's self-representation in the work highlights her Prussian aristocratic heritage as Frieda von Richthofen, which she framed as fostering her bohemian resilience and aversion to bourgeois constraints, traits that both attracted and frustrated . She recounted specific episodes, such as their 1922 ranch life in , where she positioned herself as a between Lawrence's and practical realities, including financial strains and cultural isolations. Critics have noted the memoir's selective focus, which omits deeper explorations of her earlier abandonment of children from her first marriage to Weekley, instead prioritizing redemptive themes of personal liberation through her bond with Lawrence. Posthumously, in 1964, her unfinished autobiography And the Fullness Thereof appeared within Frieda Lawrence: The Memoirs and Correspondence, edited by E.W. Tedlock, incorporating fragments of her reflections on pre- years, including her upbringing in and intellectual encounters with figures like . This collection supplements her self-portrait with edited letters, such as those to her sister Else Jaffé, revealing candid admissions of her impulsive decisions and unapologetic sensuality, which she attributed to a rejection of conventional . Manuscripts and correspondence held at institutions like the further illustrate her efforts to curate her legacy, often defending her to against rumors of while asserting her autonomy. These writings collectively depict not as a subordinate muse but as a self-directed individual whose life defied societal expectations, though archival evidence suggests editorial interventions shaped the final portrayals to align with mid-20th-century biographical norms.

Death and Posthumous Reception

Circumstances of Death

Frieda Lawrence suffered a serious viral infection in April 1956, from which she never fully recovered, contributing to her declining health in the months prior to her death. On August 8, 1956, she experienced a massive at her home in El Prado, near . She succumbed to the stroke three days later, dying in the early morning hours of August 11, 1956—her 77th birthday.

Cultural Depictions and Scholarly Assessments

In the 1981 biographical film , directed by , Frieda Lawrence is portrayed by as a bold and resilient partner to , emphasizing their turbulent marriage amid his and struggles with ; the film draws from Lawrence's life events up to his death in , presenting Frieda as a stabilizing yet challenging influence. Similarly, in the 1986 Australian film , adapted from Lawrence's novel, plays Harriet Somers, a character directly inspired by Frieda, depicting her as an aristocratic German expatriate navigating expatriate life in with intellectual independence and relational friction. These cinematic representations often highlight Frieda's role as a proto-feminist figure, sometimes framing her as an early embodiment of countercultural liberation, though critics noted the films' focus on Lawrence's perspective over her autonomous agency. Literary depictions posthumously reimagine Frieda as the archetype for characters like Lady Chatterley in Lawrence's , with Annabel Abbs' 2018 novel Frieda: The Original Lady Chatterley explicitly recasting her life as a narrative of sexual and intellectual awakening intertwined with devotion to Lawrence's creative output, portraying her as both muse and emotional anchor despite personal costs. Scholarly biographies, such as Janet Byrne's 1995 A Genius for Living: The Life of Frieda Lawrence, assess her as a vital catalyst for Lawrence's artistic evolution, crediting her aristocratic background and psychological insights—gleaned from her training under —for informing themes of marital discord and vitality in works like and , where maternal and relational dynamics echo her influence on Lawrence's revisions. Critical evaluations remain divided: biographer Keith Sagar, cited in analyses of Lawrence's marriage, describes Frieda as "amoral, disorderly, wasteful, utterly self-centred," attributing marital volatility to her extramarital pursuits and family estrangements, which exacerbated Lawrence's emotional strains and contributed to his thematic obsessions with and renewal. In contrast, studies of their correspondence and travel writings, such as those examining Frieda's memoirs Not I, But the Wind (1934) and posthumous Frieda Lawrence: The Stories, Memories and Letters (1964), portray her as a co-creator in Lawrence's , fostering his anti-industrial and vitalist philosophies through shared nomadic experiences in and , though her German heritage fueled wartime suspicions that scholars link to Lawrence's own marginalization. These assessments underscore Frieda's posthumous legacy as a figure of —empowering Lawrence's genius while embodying the personal chaos that biographers argue both fueled and hindered his productivity—without consensus on her net causal impact beyond anecdotal correlations in his oeuvre.

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