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So Hard

"So Hard" is a song by the English duo , written by and , and released on 24 September 1990 as the lead single from their fourth studio album, Behaviour. Produced by the alongside , the track explores themes of mutual and in a romantic relationship, with lyrics depicting a couple who betray each other while maintaining facades of fidelity, culminating in mutual accusations. The song's title serves as a , enhanced by a sampled moaning sound that adds a layer of to its portrayal of relational tension. Upon release, "So Hard" achieved commercial success, peaking at number 4 on the and remaining on the chart for 6 weeks. In the United States, it reached number 62 on the Billboard Hot 100. The single was supported by a directed by Eric Watson, filmed in Newcastle and , , which featured the band alongside actors portraying the song's narrative of suspicion and confrontation. The lyrics were inspired by a real couple's , including specific details like giving up . The track has since been remastered and reissued multiple times, including in 2018 and 2023 editions of the album and singles collections, underscoring its enduring place in the .

Background

Writing and inspiration

"So Hard" was written by members and in 1990, serving as the for their fourth studio album, Behaviour, released later that year. The track emerged from the duo's collaborative songwriting process, which emphasized emotional depth following the more upbeat and remix-heavy (1988). The song's inspiration drew from themes of mutual infidelity in relationships, based on Tennant's personal observations of couples concealing secret lives of unfaithfulness. Specifically, it recounts about he knew, where both partners accused each other of betrayal while maintaining a facade of , with the title carrying an intentional . As Tennant noted, " about in I knew… The title is obviously a ." Initial demos for "So Hard" were developed at Red Deer Studio in , blending the duo's signature sound with influences from the evolving scene, as Tennant and Lowe explored electronic music's progression beyond Introspective's club-oriented tracks. As the first song completed during the Behaviour sessions, it was positioned as the album opener to establish a tone of intricate emotional tension from the outset.

Recording

The song "So Hard" was recorded during May and June 1990 at Red Deer Studio in , , as part of the sessions for the ' fourth studio album, Behaviour, with producer co-producing alongside . The sessions took place over approximately 10 weeks, emphasizing a back-to-basics approach with live and minimal sampling to achieve a warmer, more organic sound compared to their prior sample-heavy productions. Faltermeyer, known for his work on synth-driven tracks like the theme "," handled early-morning preparations, including setting up vintage equipment and creating piano charts to guide the arrangements. Production focused on analogue synthesizers for the melodic elements, incorporating instruments such as , modular, , and models to craft the track's lush, emotive layers. The house-influenced rhythm was achieved through drum programming on and TR-909 machines, programmed primarily by Faltermeyer, which added a pulsating, danceable foundation while infusing disco-inspired drama into the core structure. This technical setup allowed for real-time experimentation, with playing keyboards directly to tape during the sessions. The initial version produced was a 3:58 suitable for release, later expanded into extended mixes—including a 6:38 version—for club play, with mixing completed at Sarm West Studios in by engineers like . These decisions reflected the duo's aim to balance commercial accessibility with extended rhythmic exploration, building on the song's inspirational roots in themes of from the writing phase.

Composition

Musical style

"So Hard" is a track that incorporates elements of and , characteristic of ' evolving sound in the early . The song operates at a of 120 beats per minute, contributing to its energetic yet restrained dance rhythm. It is primarily in the key of for the verses, shifting to in the choruses with modulations into , enhancing its emotional contrast. The structure follows a conventional verse-chorus form, beginning with an intro featuring subtle synth lines, followed by two verses, multiple choruses, a , and an outro that fades out gradually. Prominent musical elements include a pulsing driven by sequencers, layered synth that provide atmospheric depth, and electronic percussion—likely utilizing drum machines like the —creating a sophisticated that balances danceability with a melancholic undertone. These components, including guitars simulated via samplers, underscore the track's club-oriented vibe. This song represents an evolution from ' earlier, more hook-driven of the , integrating club trends such as muted grooves and intricate arrangements to appeal to a broader audience.

Lyrics

The of "So Hard" depict the of a couple trapped in mutual unfaithfulness, where both partners engage in while feigning ignorance and loyalty to preserve their relationship. As explained by lead singer , the song portrays "a couple who are both unfaithful to each other. They know it but they pretend they don't know it. It's so hard to keep up the pretense." Specific lines like "I double-cross you / And you get mysterious " evoke the and subtle evidence of , such as anonymous correspondence, that heighten the tension and pretense in their daily interactions. Central themes revolve around emotional deception, secrecy, and the resulting strain on intimacy, as the partners navigate a cycle of suspicion without direct confrontation. The plea in the chorus—"Tell me why don't we try / Not to break our hearts and make it so hard for ourselves?"—highlights the self-inflicted pain of diverting energy from their bond to external affairs, underscoring the relational exhaustion. These ideas are conveyed through Tennant's deadpan vocal delivery, which imparts an ironic detachment that amplifies the song's wry observation of romantic disillusionment. Prominent motifs include , captured in verses like "I've tried hard not to shock you / It's hard not to with the things I could say," where unspoken revelations threaten to unravel equilibrium. emerges in the repeated "It's so hard / I'm always hoping you'll be faithful to me," reflecting a weary persistence amid inevitable . Drawing briefly from real-life observations of unfaithful couples known to , the emphasize the performative aspect of in strained partnerships. The song ties into Behaviour's overarching examination of adult relationships, which frequently addresses , emotional guardedness, and the of modern romance across tracks like "" and "."

Critical reception

Upon its release, "So Hard" received generally positive reviews from music critics. described it as a "fine first release" from the Behaviour album, praising its "fun and frothy melodrama" while noting its modern pop stance suitable for and top 40 radio . Music & Media called it a "commercial pop with an inescapable ," deeming it a logical choice for programmers. The stated, "It might be called So Hard but the make it all sound so easy... Brash backing, dry sophisticated singing and a great tune." highlighted its "familiar Pet Shop Boys territory with a superior hit factory pulse [and] boys town keyboard slashes." Music Week welcomed the track as a return with co-producer , featuring "semi-orchestral pop, heavy dance beats, and a catchy ." Some critics expressed mixed views on its style. In a retrospective review, Tom Ewing of FreakyTrigger noted the song's "muted, almost dour" tone as intriguing but criticized it for "lumber[ing] rather than glid[ing]," failing to achieve the smooth flow of its intended retro-disco influences, though he praised its witty lyrics and enduring appeal. Regarding the album context, Classic Pop Magazine reported that band member disliked "So Hard," calling it "a blot on this album," while some contemporary critics were unsure about its analogue sound. observed that the track "most closely resembles the traditional sound" of earlier hits, making it more accessible than other Behaviour songs. The music video for "So Hard" was directed by Eric Watson and released in 1990. It was filmed on location in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, , . The video features the and —alongside actors including Anna-Marie Gascoigne, portraying a drama of unfolding among a group of young men and women, intercut with scenes of suspicion and confrontation that mirror the song's themes of .

Track listings

All formats include "So Hard" as the A-side, with "It Must Be Obvious" as the B-side, unless otherwise noted. Durations are approximate.

7-inch

  1. "So Hard" – 3:56
  2. "It Must Be Obvious" – 4:21

12-inch

  1. "So Hard" (extended dance mix) – 6:30
  2. "It Must Be Obvious" – 4:21
  3. "So Hard" ( mix) – 7:30

CD single

  1. "So Hard" – 3:56
  2. "It Must Be Obvious" – 4:21
  3. "So Hard" (extended dance mix) – 6:30
Notes:
International releases, such as the maxi-CD, additionally include "So Hard" () – 7:30 and "" (Bottom's Up mix) – 8:40 on some editions. A remix single by features "So Hard" (The KLF vs. ) – 5:27 and "It Must Be Obvious" (UFO mix) – 9:22.

Commercial performance

Weekly charts

"So Hard" debuted at its peak position of number 4 on the UK Singles Chart dated 30 September 1990 and remained on the chart for 6 weeks, spending 5 of those in the top 40. In the United States, the single peaked at number 62 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 6 weeks, and number 4 on the Billboard Dance Club Songs chart for the issue dated 1 December 1990 after 14 weeks on the tally. The track saw strong performance across , reaching number 3 on the Eurochart Hot 100 Singles. It topped the charts in for 2 weeks in 1990, while attaining number 3 in and , number 14 in , number 2 in and , and peaked at number 17 in Ireland. Elsewhere, "So Hard" peaked at number 27 in , number 18 in , and number 8 on Japan's international singles chart.
Country/ChartPeak PositionWeeks on Chart
46
US 626
US 414
Eurochart Hot 100 Singles3N/A
1N/A
35
3N/A
212
2N/A
1410
173
279
18N/A
Japan (International)8N/A

Year-end charts

In 1990, "So Hard" achieved a year-end position of number 35 on the Europarade Top 100 singles chart. The single sold 134,504 copies in the UK during its initial release period, reflecting its solid performance despite a relatively short chart run and aiding the promotion of the duo's Behaviour album through sustained radio play and dance club rotation. Its longevity on dance charts, including a peak of number 4 on the US Billboard Dance Club Songs chart with 14 weeks in the top rankings, further underscored its appeal in electronic music circles. No formal certifications were awarded for "So Hard" by the (BPI) or the (RIAA). Retrospectively, the track has appeared on influential synth-pop compilations such as Now That's What I Call Music! 18, helping maintain its cultural relevance. The 2018 remastered edition of Behaviour: Further Listening –1991 has enhanced its accessibility on digital streaming platforms, contributing to renewed interest and plays in the post-remaster era.

Release

Formats

"So Hard" was initially released in multiple physical formats in 1990, including 7-inch singles, 12-inch maxi-singles, cassette singles, and s across various regions. These formats varied by market, with the 12-inch versions often providing extended mixes suitable for club play. The sleeve art for the single was designed by Mark Farrow in collaboration with , presenting a bold background with white for the title and artist name, evoking a sense of relational tension through its stark, minimalist aesthetic. CD single editions included an insert with full lyrics for the title track and B-sides. Regional variations in packaging were notable, such as the Australian cassette single, which featured distinct local artwork adaptations, and the Japanese CD maxi-single, which came with a traditional strip. Digitally, "So Hard" is available on streaming platforms as part of the Behaviour album, with updated versions appearing in the 2018 remastered edition of Behaviour via the Further Listening series, offering enhanced audio quality, and in the 2023 compilation SMASH: The Singles 1985–2020, which included a fresh of the track. Each format typically housed the version alongside remixes and additional tracks.

Release history

"So Hard" was first released as a on 24 September 1990 in the United Kingdom by Records. The 's promotion emphasized radio airplay alongside remixes targeted at club DJs, including versions by and , to build anticipation for the duo's fourth studio album, Behaviour, which followed on 22 October 1990. Subsequent releases occurred across in late 1990 through , with various formats issued in countries including , , , , and . The single also launched in in 1990 via , marking a key market in . In the United States, America handled limited promotional efforts, distributing promo singles and remixes focused on dance charts rather than a full commercial rollout. The track saw reissues as part of broader catalog expansions, including its inclusion on the 2018 remastered edition of Behaviour: Further Listening 1990–1991. In 2023, "So Hard" appeared on the compilation SMASH – The Singles 1985–2020, featuring a new , released on 16 June by .

Cover versions

"So Hard" has been covered by several artists. In 1994, Swedish band Squareheads released a hard-rock version on the compilation album Draaa!.[] Scottish singer-songwriter Momus included a cover on his 2001 album Fanfarlo.[] In 2025, Hamish Hawk released a stripped-back piano-and-guitar version as part of his EP Covers II, released on September 5 via So Recordings.[] Other covers include instrumental versions by The Songrise Orchestra (1995) and Richter (2006), as well as performances by Waiting for Words (2015).