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Mary Gaitskill


Mary Gaitskill (born November 11, 1954) is an American novelist, essayist, and short story writer whose work frequently depicts fraught human connections marked by desire, alienation, and moral ambiguity. Born in , to a teacher father and social worker mother, she grew up partly in the area before leaving home at age 16 to travel, including time in Canada, and later earning a B.A. from the , where she won a Hopwood Award. Her breakthrough came with the 1988 short story collection Bad Behavior, praised for its unflinching portrayals of sex work, addiction, and power imbalances in circles, followed by novels such as Two Girls, Fat and Thin (1991), which probes cult dynamics and body image, and (2005), a meditation on illness and that earned a nomination. Gaitskill's essays, collected in volumes like Somebody with a Little Hammer (2016), critique cultural pieties on topics from to political scandals, often challenging reductive narratives of victimhood. She has garnered a , PEN/Faulkner nomination for Because They Wanted To (1997), and recognition from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, while teaching at institutions including .

Early Life and Education

Childhood and Family Background

Mary Gaitskill was born on November 11, 1954, in . She was the eldest of three sisters raised by parents whose household involved periodic relocations due to her father's career as a teacher. At age eight, the family moved from to , before settling in the greater area, where Gaitskill spent much of her childhood. This Midwestern upbringing amid job-related shifts shaped her early environment, though specific details on familial dynamics or parental backgrounds beyond her father's profession remain limited in available accounts.

Formative Experiences and Early Departures

Gaitskill's teenage years were marked by rebellion against familial expectations, culminating in her parents' decision to commit her to a psychiatric institution at age 15 in 1969, an attempt to curb her "wilful" behavior amid broader cultural anxieties over youth rebellion, such as the influence of the . This institutionalization followed her experimentation with marijuana and reflected parental efforts to impose discipline, including sending her to a earlier in adolescence. During this period, she also dropped out or was expelled from high school during her sophomore year after initially performing well but losing interest. These conflicts contributed to early departures from structured environments; at 15, Gaitskill first ran away from home but was quickly apprehended by . She departed again at 16, initially ending up in a Detroit after failed attempts to hitchhike to , during which she experienced a that she later described as evoking a mix of and unexpected for her assailant, whom she perceived as originating from a harsher socioeconomic background. By 1971, at age 17, she successfully hitchhiked to , where she lived a chaotic, hardscrabble existence illegally under a fake ID, associating with other teenage , draft dodgers, and deserters, including a 25-year-old boyfriend who sold underground newspapers. Her youth involved transient survival amid discouraging circumstances, including reading authors like and while journaling, which foreshadowed her literary interests. These departures from family, school, and homeland exposed her to instability and independence, shaping a worldview informed by raw human encounters rather than conventional paths. Earlier childhood moments, such as bursting into tears at a roller-skating rink overwhelmed by the uniformity of social codes like poodle skirts and hairdos, hinted at an innate sense of disconnection from normative environments.

Academic Pursuits and Influences

Gaitskill lacked a upon deciding to pursue , instead obtaining a GED several years prior to enrolling in . Her father's position as an instructor at the enabled her to attend tuition-free, facilitating her initial academic entry before transferring to the . This path reflected her self-directed motivation to study writing, as she entered college explicitly intending to develop as an author. At the , Gaitskill completed a degree in 1981, during which her education remained intermittent due to personal circumstances. She received a Hopwood Award, a prestigious university honor for outstanding submitted by students, recognizing her early literary potential. While specific coursework details are undocumented in available records, her focus aligned with creative writing programs, influencing her subsequent professional output in fiction and essays. Gaitskill's academic influences stemmed primarily from practical necessities and familial access rather than formal mentorships, with her father's academic role providing indirect encouragement toward structured learning. Broader intellectual shaping during this period drew from personal reading and life experiences outside , though the environment honed her disciplined approach to craft, evident in her award-winning submissions. No evidence indicates reliance on particular professors or theoretical frameworks; instead, her pursuits emphasized self-motivated skill-building amid an unconventional entry into .

Literary Career

Debut Publications and Breakthrough

Gaitskill's entry into published literature occurred through short stories that appeared in periodicals during the early , culminating in her debut book-length work, the Bad Behavior, issued in 1988 by Poseidon Press, an imprint of . The volume comprised nine interconnected narratives centered on aimless young adults navigating City's undercurrents of desire, , substance use, and interpersonal power struggles, often rendered with stark psychological realism. Bad Behavior marked Gaitskill's breakthrough, propelling her from obscurity to critical notice amid a literary landscape dominated by more conventional voices; reviewers highlighted its raw depiction of erotic tension and emotional alienation, free from sentimentalism or moralizing. Publications such as The New York Times and The Guardian later reflected on the collection's immediate impact, crediting it with defining Gaitskill's signature style of probing the ambiguities of consent and vulnerability in intimate encounters. The standout story "Secretary," which explored a young woman's masochistic dynamic with her employer, exemplified this approach and gained retrospective prominence through its 2002 film adaptation, though the book's initial reception hinged on its cohesive portrayal of relational dysfunction rather than any single tale. This debut's success stemmed from Gaitskill's —having faced rejections for years prior—and its alignment with emerging interests in gritty, urban realism, distinguishing it from contemporaneous works that often softened similar themes for broader appeal. By late 1988, Bad Behavior had solidified her reputation, paving the way for subsequent novels and collections while influencing depictions of female agency in fraught sexual contexts.

Major Fiction Works

Bad Behavior (1988), Gaitskill's debut , features interconnected narratives depicting the complexities of human relationships, particularly involving , power imbalances, and emotional detachment among young adults in . The book garnered critical attention for its raw, unflinching prose and established Gaitskill's reputation as a voice exploring the undercurrents of desire and alienation. Her first novel, Two Girls, Fat and Thin (1991), follows the unlikely friendship between two women—one obese and reclusive, the other thin and outwardly conventional—whose bond unearths personal traumas and societal judgments on and identity. Published by Press, it delves into themes of vulnerability and mutual recognition amid physical and emotional extremes. The short story collection Because They Wanted To (1997), nominated for the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction, expands on Gaitskill's interest in moral ambiguity, , and interpersonal friction through diverse vignettes of contemporary life. Stories such as "" and "" highlight characters grappling with ethical lapses and unfulfilled longings. Veronica (2005), Gaitskill's second novel, centers on Alison, a former model reflecting on her friendship with the titular character, a dying of AIDS, amid flashbacks to their shared experiences of glamour, decay, and mortality. Nominated for the , the work examines beauty's transience, illness, and the illusions of youth. In (2009), a collection of ten stories, Gaitskill portrays fractured family dynamics, romantic disillusionments, and existential unease, with narratives spanning settings from urban apartments to suburban malaise. Published by , it includes pieces like "The Little Boy" addressing grief and innocence lost. The Mare (2015), her third novel, draws from real-life inspirations to narrate the evolving relationship between a neglected Dominican girl from and a middle-aged white couple in , intertwined with themes of class, race, and equine therapy. The book reflects Gaitskill's engagement with cross-cultural adoptions and personal reinvention. The novella This Is Pleasure (2019), originally published in The New Yorker and later as a standalone, presents dual perspectives on a literary agent's flirtatious behavior toward women, probing consent, accusation, and the nuances of sexual ethics in the wake of #MeToo revelations. Issued by on November 5, it challenges simplistic narratives of predation and pleasure.

Evolution of Style and Recurring Themes

Gaitskill's early writing, exemplified in her debut collection Bad Behavior, featured a raw, candid style characterized by psychological intensity and unflinching depictions of urban sexual encounters, power imbalances, and emotional estrangement. This approach drew from personal experiences, including time as a , to explore granular details of desire and vulnerability without moral judgment, often through short stories that emphasized interiority over plot-driven action. Her initial process involved longhand drafting for immersive privacy, reflecting a liberating focus on morally ambiguous . Over time, Gaitskill's style evolved toward greater structural experimentation in her novels, such as Two Girls, Fat and Thin (1991) and (2005), incorporating nonlinear time shifts and broader emotional waves inspired by authors like . She transitioned to computer composition for efficiency, though this introduced a more casual tone that she contrasted with longhand's depth, while adopting a freer stance less preoccupied with reader approval. Later works, including the 2017 novel The Mare and story collections like (2009), expanded to encompass societal critiques, such as media influence and American identity, demanding refined action alongside persistent interior focus amid growing technical challenges like temporal jumps. By the 2020s, her essays marked a shift to freer, off-the-cuff reflections on contemporary issues, blending fiction's emotional precision with essayistic directness. Throughout her oeuvre, recurring themes center on the fragility of human connections, marked by miscommunication, longing, and the interplay of power and shame in intimate relations. Stories frequently probe in and social contexts, portraying characters—often or "oddballs"—navigating desire's contradictions without resolution, as in explorations of that affirm dignity through voluntary choice. Loneliness and the quest for unseen persist, evolving from gritty interpersonal failures in early tales to broader examinations of societal and emotional strangeness in later . This thematic consistency underscores a realist lens on human suffering's granular textures, resisting for causal clarity in relational dynamics.

Non-Fiction and Essays

Key Essay Collections and Contributions

Mary Gaitskill's non-fiction work primarily consists of essay collections that explore themes of human desire, social dynamics, power imbalances, and personal introspection, often drawing from her observations of contemporary culture and . Her essays frequently challenge simplistic narratives around sexuality, victimhood, and moral absolutes, reflecting a nuanced engagement with ethical ambiguities. These works appeared in publications such as , , and before being compiled into books. Her first major essay collection, Somebody with a Little Hammer: Essays, published in 2017 by , compiles pieces on , cultural commentary, and personal experiences, including examinations of , political , and the transcendental aspects of . In the essay "Lost Cat," Gaitskill recounts fostering children through a program while grappling with the disappearance of an adopted stray cat from , using the narrative to probe , responsibility, and the limits of . The collection received praise for its unflinching dissection of human frailty and societal pretensions, with reviewers noting Gaitskill's ability to "demolish defenses" against acknowledging personal weaknesses. In 2020, Gaitskill published Lost Cat: A Memoir, expanding the titular essay from the earlier collection into a standalone work with . The book details her experiences adopting a named Gattino during a residency in and transporting it to the , only for it to vanish, interwoven with reflections on her and her husband's involvement in fostering traumatized children from 2002 to 2009. This narrative serves as a on attachment, loss, and the ethical complexities of caregiving, highlighting the raw, instinctual bonds between humans and animals as a to fractured human relationships. Critics described it as a poignant exploration of grief "with fur," emphasizing its emotional depth without sentimentality. Oppositions: Selected Essays, released in 2021 by (with a U.S. edition in 2023), gathers decades-spanning pieces on topics ranging from Vladimir Nabokov's fiction to pursuits, asserting Gaitskill's capacity to uncover "unexpected truths" amid ideological orthodoxies. Essays in the volume revisit her "," reframing its dynamics beyond victim-perpetrator binaries to underscore mutual agency in power exchanges. The collection critiques reductive cultural interpretations, such as those surrounding #MeToo, by prioritizing individual moral complexity over collective outrage. Reviewers commended its erudition and resistance to conformity, spanning literary analysis and personal defiance. Beyond collections, Gaitskill's standalone contributions include the 2017 Harper's essay "Nice Girls," which interrogates evolving norms of female sexuality from the onward, contrasting childhood lessons on "good" versus "bad" girls with modern ambiguities in and . Her work in outlets like further demonstrates ongoing engagement with taboo subjects, such as the interplay of , informed by empirical observation rather than abstract theory. These pieces collectively affirm her reputation for precise, unsentimental prose that privileges lived causality over ideological framing.

Critiques of Social Movements and Ideology

In her 1994 essay "On Not Being a Victim," published in Harper's Magazine, Gaitskill recounted a personal experience from the early 1970s that could be classified as acquaintance rape, yet she rejected framing it solely through a lens of perpetual victimhood, arguing that such narratives oversimplify human agency and culpability in sexual encounters. She critiqued the era's emerging feminist orthodoxies for promoting rigid rules around sex and consent that disregarded the ambiguities of desire and power dynamics, asserting that individuals, including women, bear responsibility for navigating risky situations rather than relying on external moral absolutes. Gaitskill contended that an overemphasis on victim status erodes self-determination, drawing from her observations of 1970s counterculture where personal boundaries were often willfully blurred in pursuit of liberation. Gaitskill extended these themes to contemporary movements in her 2016 essay collection Somebody with a Little Hammer, where pieces on and political scandals challenged reductive ideological interpretations of intimacy and transgression. She argued against viewing as invariably a unidirectional power imbalance, instead highlighting mutual and the erotic's inherent messiness, which she saw as downplayed by movements prioritizing collective grievance over individual nuance. In essays like those revisiting John McCain's personal failings, she applied similar scrutiny to political ideology, decrying how partisan lenses distort ethical judgments. Her 2019 novella This Is Pleasure, framed as non-fiction-adjacent commentary on #MeToo, further critiqued the movement's ideological fervor for flattening complex interpersonal dynamics into binary accusations of predation. Through the character Quin, a man facing cancellation for flirtatious behavior, Gaitskill illustrated how #MeToo's public shaming rituals could punish ambiguity—such as "friendly indignities" accepted in context—favoring ideological purity over empathetic inquiry into consent's gray areas. She expressed reservations about the term "" itself, noting in a 2019 interview its broadening to encompass non-coercive interactions, which she viewed as eroding distinctions between harm and mere discomfort. In the 2021 collection Oppositions: Selected Essays, Gaitskill interrogated and performative activism, arguing that they foster alienation by subordinating personal truth to group narratives, as seen in her analyses of cultural artifacts like films and literature that resist victim-perpetrator dichotomies. She warned against social movements' tendency to enforce through moral outrage, drawing parallels to historical puritanism, and advocated for literature's role in preserving human complexity against such tides. Gaitskill's consistent stance privileges experiential over doctrinal frameworks, critiquing feminism's evolution toward what she perceives as dogmatic intolerance of .

Personal Life and Influences

Relationships and Autobiographical Elements

Gaitskill married writer Peter Trachtenberg on September 15, 2001, four days after the ; the couple met while co-teaching a writing workshop for military veterans. They reside together in and have collaborated professionally, including on literary projects. Gaitskill has described their relationship as a source of stability amid her peripatetic early life, though she separated from Trachtenberg temporarily before reconciling by 2023. Gaitskill's fiction frequently incorporates autobiographical elements from her tumultuous youth, including running away from home at age 16, brief attendance at the , and periods of employment as a and in the 1970s. These experiences underpin the raw depictions of sexual power imbalances, emotional disconnection, and urban survival in her debut collection Bad Behavior (1988), where protagonists navigate exploitative encounters mirroring her own reported involvement in sex work and drug use. In later works, Gaitskill has drawn on personal dreams, relational fractures, and observations of intimacy's fragility—elements she attributes to real-life emotional undercurrents rather than strict —to explore themes of and misunderstanding. She has emphasized that while her narratives borrow from lived events, they prioritize psychological authenticity over literal retelling, avoiding direct one-to-one correspondences to protect privacy and enhance universality. This approach recurs in novels like Veronica (2005), informed by her reflections on aging, loss, and bodily impermanence amid past hardships.

Professional Teaching and Residences

Gaitskill taught at the university level from 1993 to 2022. Her academic appointments included positions at the ; ; ; the ; ; and . In 2017, she joined University's creative writing faculty, where she instructed both undergraduate and graduate students. She also served as a visiting professor at around 2018. Gaitskill held several writer-in-residence roles that supported her teaching and writing. She was the Writer-in-Residence at in 2014. At , she participated in the Peter Trias Residency for Writers, living on campus and leading workshops for students. In 2015, she was a Writing Artist in Residence at the Headlands Center for the Arts. Her residencies extended to fellowship programs with dedicated workspaces. Gaitskill received MacDowell fellowships in literature for stays in 2004, 2005, 2006, and 2023, allowing focused periods of writing in the organization's colony. She was also a Cullman Center fellow at the in 2010, which provided a year-long residency for research and composition. These opportunities complemented her teaching by offering uninterrupted time amid her academic commitments.

Reception and Impact

Critical Praise and Literary Awards

Gaitskill's novel (2005) was a finalist for the in Fiction and nominated for the . Her short story collection Because They Wanted To (1998) received a nomination for the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction. In 2002, she was awarded a in fiction. Gaitskill received the Arts and Letters Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters in 2018, recognizing her contributions as one of eight selected writers that year. Additional honors include a Cullman Fellowship from the and inclusion of her stories in anthologies such as and The O. Henry Prize Stories. Critics have praised Gaitskill's prose for its precision and fearlessness in depicting the intricacies of intimacy, power, and emotional vulnerability. Her debut collection Bad Behavior (1988) earned acclaim for its bold, psychologically acute stories of urban disconnection and sexual encounters, establishing her as a distinctive voice in contemporary fiction. Reviewers highlighted the collection's restraint in avoiding epiphanies, instead emphasizing surface tensions and unspoken desires. For Veronica, critics commended its tight, dark prose and original escalation of narrative tension, with the novel selected as one of the New York Times' Ten Best Books of 2005. Overall, her fiction has been noted for combining emotional depth with unflinching realism, though some observers attribute its impact to a willingness to confront human flaws without sentimentality.

Controversies and Divergent Viewpoints

Gaitskill's 2019 novella This Is Pleasure, which depicts a publishing industry figure accused of through dual narratives from his female colleague and a female friend who defends his complexity, provoked debate for complicating #MeToo's predominant victim-offender framework. Some reviewers contended that the portrayal risked excusing predatory behavior by emphasizing the accused's and the accuser's , thereby diluting in cases of unwanted advances. Others commended the work for probing the ambiguities of and interpersonal power without ideological resolution, arguing it reflected real-world messiness over . In public statements, Gaitskill articulated reservations about #MeToo's trajectory, asserting in a 2019 interview that the term "harassment" had expanded to encompass interactions she viewed as ambiguous or non-coercive, fostering a cultural shift toward punitive overreach that echoed historical puritanism. She declined to contribute a solicited #MeToo essay, citing internal conflict over the movement's demand for unequivocal condemnation amid her observations of shifting consent norms. By 2021, she remarked that definitions of rape had evolved markedly since her earlier writings, rendering past encounters retrospectively interpretable as violations under contemporary standards, a perspective she linked to broader societal reevaluations rather than inherent moral failings. These positions drew accusations of insufficient solidarity with survivors, particularly from outlets aligned with progressive critiques, though Gaitskill maintained they stemmed from her firsthand experiences with sexual dynamics in the 1970s and 1980s. Her essay collections, including Somebody with a Little Hammer (2016), further highlighted divergences by scrutinizing "" cultural phenomena and media sensationalism, such as her dismissal of Gillian Flynn's (2012) as embodying a "sickening" worldview that glorified vengeful over human depth. Critics interpreted these as contrarian dismissals of feminist empowerment narratives, while Gaitskill framed them as defenses of artistic nuance against reductive . Broader literary discourse has faulted her recurring portrayals of self-destructive female desire—often involving masochism or blurred consent—as pathologizing women or romanticizing abuse, a charge she rebutted by emphasizing characters' amid inevitable human flaws. Such interpretations persist despite her insistence on drawing from empirical observations of relational complexity, eschewing prescriptive moralism.

Cultural Legacy and Recent Engagements

Gaitskill's short story "," first published in Bad Behavior (1988), was adapted into the 2002 film , directed by and starring and , which expanded the narrative into a feature-length of a consensual boss-subordinate dynamic and received critical acclaim for its portrayal of power imbalances in relationships. This adaptation introduced Gaitskill's unflinching depictions of erotic power exchanges to a broader cinematic audience, influencing subsequent cultural discussions on in literature and media, including echoes in works like Sally Rooney's (2018), where similar relational tensions appear. Her oeuvre has shaped modern fiction's engagement with gender dynamics, urban , and the ambiguities of desire, earning praise for prioritizing psychological realism over moralizing narratives. In recent years, Gaitskill has extended her influence through and public discourse. She launched the Out of It in , where she publishes essays and commentary on contemporary phenomena, often critiquing ideological excesses from a detached vantage, amassing tens of thousands of subscribers by 2023. Featured in 's "Art of Fiction" series (issue 243, Spring 2023), she discussed her creative process, emphasizing ambiguity and the unseen layers of human experience as core to her writing. These engagements underscore her ongoing relevance, bridging her literary roots with direct interventions in cultural debates on , power, and . Gaitskill participated in "Seriously Entertaining," an event marking The New Yorker's 100th anniversary on September 19, 2025, hosted by House of SpeakEasy, reflecting her continued association with the magazine that has published her fiction and essays since the 1980s. Her recent output, including the novel The Devil's Treasure (2023), sustains her legacy of probing interpersonal fractures amid societal shifts, with critics noting its resonance in an era of polarized relational narratives.

Bibliography

Novels

Two Girls, Fat and Thin (1991), published by Poseidon Press, examines the unlikely friendship between Dorothy, an overweight woman who idolizes and harbors deep childhood traumas, and Justine, a slender journalist interviewing her, highlighting themes of physical disparity, shared emotional scars, and intellectual obsession. The portrays their bond as tense and revealing, marked by mutual vulnerability amid personal histories of and . Veronica (2005), issued by , follows Alison, a former model in her late forties afflicted with hepatitis C, as she reflects on her intense friendship with , an older editor who succumbed to AIDS in the scene. The narrative interweaves glamour, decay, and mortality, contrasting the superficial allure of modeling with the raw confrontations of illness and human frailty. It was a finalist for the and . The Mare (2015), released by on November 3, centers on Velveteen "Velvet" Vargas, an 11-year-old Dominican-American girl from participating in the Fresh Air Fund program, who bonds with a horse and navigates tensions in her host family led by childless couple Ginger and Paul. The story probes intersections of , , privilege, and redemption through Velvet's pursuits and familial disruptions, including Ginger's aspirations for normalcy.

Short Story Collections

Bad Behavior (1988), published by Poseidon Press, marked Gaitskill's debut as a short story writer and comprises nine stories depicting interpersonal dynamics in urban settings. Because They Wanted To (1997), issued by Simon & Schuster, features stories nominated collectively for the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction. Don't Cry (2009), released by Pantheon Books, includes ten stories addressing themes of loss and human connection.

Essay Collections and Novellas

Mary Gaitskill's essay collections explore personal, cultural, and social tensions through introspective and contrarian lenses, often challenging prevailing narratives on sexuality, power, and . Her first such volume, Somebody with a Little Hammer: Essays, was published in 2017 by . The book compiles essays on topics including , political , and literary figures, drawing from Gaitskill's observations of human frailty and societal judgments. In 2021, Gaitskill released Oppositions: Selected Essays, published by Serpent's Tail, which gathers previously published pieces addressing cultural binaries and conflicts. Essays within examine evolving interpretations of consent in "date rape" discussions, the shifting cultural reception of Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita, and broader oppositions in modern discourse on gender and morality. Gaitskill's sole novella to date, This Is Pleasure, appeared in 2019 from Serpent's Tail. Presented as alternating monologues between Quin, a book editor facing multiple harassment allegations amid the #MeToo era, and his longtime friend Margot, the work probes the ambiguities of flirtation, consent, and reputational destruction without endorsing simplistic victim-perpetrator dichotomies. Originally excerpted in The New Yorker earlier that year, the novella spans approximately 100 pages and has been noted for its refusal to moralize, instead highlighting interpersonal complexities in accusations of misconduct.

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